Richard Thaler, Not having to worry about money is almost like not having to worry about dying. Bette Davis, "I need to retire from retirement." 2) Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder - are you still looking forward to retirement? Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, Our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything. Samuel Johnson, In this country men seem to live for action as long as they can and sink into apathy when they retire. A cop caught a graffiti artist spraying a police station in a thick font. Peter Lynch. The perfect crime was committed last night. So here are some more great ideas for the boys (and girls) in blue! 53. Charles Lamb. QuotesGram. Retiring State Trooper It is better to live rich than to die rich. - Gail Sheehy. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." - Mark Twain "Retirement: no job, no stress, no pay!" - Unknown "Retire from work, but not from life." - M.K. to date. A state trooper pulled a farmer over on a rural road and said, Sir, do you realize your brother fell out of the car several miles back?, To which the farmer replied, Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!, This article was originally published on Oct. 29, 2019, A Man Went Viral For Refusing To Give Up His Spot On A Ride To A Crying Child, An American Mom Shares The Utter Magic Of Danish Playgrounds. Dislike Like. I hope you like the new precinct you've been transferred to - the couch! Read more quotes about aging, retirement and motivation: Sedona Winds Retirement Communityoffersindependent living in Sedona, Arizona, can help! Congratulations on your well-earned retirement. Thank You for the 28 years you gave At PoemSearcher.com find thousands of poems categorized into thousands of categories. If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free. 623-975-0880. You cant win until you do this. Something pretty thats just the surface. 1. Judge: I thought I said that I never wanted to see you in here again., Criminal: Thats what I kept telling the arresting officer, but he wouldnt listen.. Financial peace isnt the acquisition of stuff. "Congrats on being so tired that you had to retire.". George Burns, Age is an issue of mind over matter. ), or just manually add the email addresses you'd like to keep in your contact list. The doctor replies, "OK. Touch your elbow.". Goodbye Tension. Cop: Do you have any idea how fast you were going?. And who knows? Need some retirement card ideas for your co-worker? George Burns, People ask me what Id most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. Please dont go now. Nellah McGough runs the day-to-day operations in the Southern Living Birmingham office, responds to reader questions and comments, manages freelancer contracts, and invoices. Ella Harris Before deciding to retire early. There you will remain for the last of your days, alone and carrying the Law.". The police are working tirelessly to catch him. What do you call a clairvoyant who escaped from prison? Chaparral Winds is a retirement facility in Surprise, Arizona offering assisted living, independent living, and memory care services. 2023 NewRetirement, Inc. All rights reserved. Fitzhugh Dodson, NewRetirement Planner: The Best Way to Achieve a Secure Retirement, The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. When Cops Retire. The current institutionally provided retirement plans will not cover people's needs upon retirement. Betty White. Take financial wellness into your own hands and do it yourself retirement planning: easy, 25. So increasingly will be peace. 21. The best part about retirement is that you don t have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. "Retirement: When you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house." -Unknown "My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the law." -Jerry Seinfeld "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. 20. Here are a couple of one liners that you may be able to use: "I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.". Ward, Always have a plan, and belive in it. This post is a roller coaster ride through some of the silliest and funniest quotes about retiring. We've found several retirement quotes and sayings that will fit their personality. Bertrand Russell, Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think youre supposed to. Jim Rohn, Know what you own, and know why you own it. Vince Lombardi, Retirement is the ugliest word in the language. Unknown, Expect the best. What is small, has a long tail and works with the police? Stephen Covey 47 Likes Police quotes Safety quotes Community quotes John Barrymore, You know youre getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while youre down there. Soren Kierkegaard, To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization , and at present very few people have reached this level. the People of the City of New York. There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working. My girlfriend dressed up as a policewoman for Halloween, told me that I was under arrest on suspicion of being good in bed. Take caution, though, these babies are bad to the bone. John Bogle, Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. I win! and drove off. 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious. 'I've been waiting for you all day,' the officer said. What kind of dinosaur works for the police? - Unknown We, the willing, led by the unknowing, are doing the impossible for the ungrateful. Chi Chi Rodriguez, When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. Carolyn Leigh and Cy Coleman, Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summers day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. We, the members of the NYPD, present this to you in recognition of for the rest of the department. Have you been eating donuts?, 6. We, your Friends and Brothers, Mark Twain, A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. 49. Hey Girl I'm Going To Retire Some Day Cheers To You Time To Come Out Of Retirement I Didn't Choose The Retired Life Did I Save Enough Money For Retirement Alcohol Retirement What Is This Retirement I Can't Wait To Retire What Do You Call A Person Who Is Happy On Monday Morning Retirement Here I Come I'm Late For Work Again Retiring Like A Boss Unknown, "How do you know it's time to retire? To return Click Here. You cant win until you do this. Retirement memes: Sometimes the good old joke gets, well, old. The best part about is that they will be relatable to just about. Grammar Police Funny Sarcasm Quotes Literary T-Shirt . Gail Sheehy, "Retirement, a time to enjoy all the things you never had time to do when you worked." It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver. You have always dreamed of concentrating on your own project. It is the beginning of the open highway. Unknown, Dont act your age in retirement. 4. Department, thank you for all you have Source Unknown, Gods retirement plan is out of this world. When a good cop leaves the 'job' and retires to a better life, many are jealous, some are pleased and yet others, who may have already retired, wonder. Browse all famous retirement quotes below, or select a specific topic from this list: The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. Some call it 'retirement.' 2023 BDG Media, Inc. All rights reserved. 23. I, for one, happen to fall in the first category. Before you die, give. 40. Here's hoping for a fun, rewarding and restful life.". 48. Instead of manually entering the email addresses you want to send to each and every time, you can now create your own personalized contact list that will be available for you to use any time you want to share one of our posts with your friends and family. Dave Ramsey. A. Retirement caps a career and opens the door to long-anticipated plans and dreams. Retirement means that you'll just go ahead and live on your laurels and surf all day in Oceanside. Did you hear about the criminal who stole a lamp? Below you will find our collection of inspirational wise and humorous old funny retirement quotes funny retirement sayings and funny retirement proverbs collected over the years from a variety of sources. What are riot police in Germany called? If you look at what you have in life, youll always have more. Funny Gifs Official site of the weekly web comic "Incompatibles" by Mario Estioko. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income" - Chi Chi Rodriguez "There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working" - Robert Half "I have never liked working. "How did you get your answer?" "Easy," says Martin, "just subtract 191 from Wednesday." The public are the police and the police are the public, and both share the same responsibility for community safety. Thats ridiculous. Retirement life begins when the kids move out and the cat gets run over. Humorous quotes and messages. Enjoy.". After 5 hours sitting in the bar, a man was in no shape to drive, wisely left his car parked and walked home. Abe Lemons, "We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to workand then we retire. Woody Allen, I advise you to go on living solely to enrage those who are paying your annuities. The best funny retirement wishes for coworkers and colleagues include: The days of 9-5 are past! Retirement is a time to reflect and enjoy your golden years. This is in line with the philosophy of the joy of being retired website which is to celebrate retirement and laugh at it instead of looking at it as a bad thing. All the best for an amazing retirement! Capitalize on what comes. Dick Van Dyke, "Choose a work that you love and you won't have to work another day." 13. I didnt realize you were a cop.. 11. Pennsylvania State Police Department Seal 3. 36. Idowu Koyenikan, Wealth for All: Living a Life of Success at the Edge of Your Ability.