This year in my ward the emphasis was shifted slightly from being a mother to our mothers. I have no aversion to motherhood being spoken of in church. please please please please dont pull us teachers from Primary for pie or talking. Didn't Sheri Dew give a talk titled, "Are We Not All Mothers?" God still loves her, and her life still had value and meaningTHE END!! So for over a decade, Ive loved Mothers Day, just because I know it wont end with all of us crying. 3. Mothers Day is celebrated, and increasingly commercialized, but my impression of the local situation is that ones obligation to honor ones mother is largely discharged at home. He discussed the tendency of many women to feel like failures and shared ways to overcome it. Did they not have mothers? Tracy M posted an amazing video that deals with the general concept of this post in a really insightful way. He emphasized there is no one perfect way to be a mother and that every situation is different. The perfect hymn for Mothers Day Sacrament meeting. My best friend (unmarried, childless at 51) has been asked to speak. It hurts. Oh yes, Ive read the scriptures to be like Him, to be perfect. Not necessarily mothersjust women. Really perfect for MD! Because I know the real story so it is distracting from the fake one that they are giving. It very gently re-addressed several of the points that were flying in the newspapers and throughout the church in the Mothers Who Know backlash. Mark, very good advice IMO. I am the wife of a bishopric member, and I used to love Mothers Day. For years the tradition in my ward was a simple gift for all sisters 18 and older. The broken bread is a reminder of His body and His physical sufferingespecially His suffering on the cross. Men tended to speak about angel mothers who bore no resemblance to mine. I think its terribly sad that growing up Mormon, I never heard anyone make any serious attempt to talk about Heavenly Mother on Mothers Day. He offers advice on how young women can look to faithful mother figures as a pattern to follow. Even men who are on diets. I have not attending other churches that have mothers day services aimed at mothers. His topic? I should clarify that my mother (and father) are wonderful and I have no complaints. He had returned from his mission and married (as did I), and he was asked to give the main Mothers Day talk. I dont go to be honored or get a gift. Cant we just give praise and gratitude for the atonement, and human goodness and resiliance inspite its adversity and imperfection? I do think a lot of Mormon women enjoy talks that validate their efforts at motherhood, and I think some of these talks get interpreted as angel mother talks when theyre really not. I have nine children, eight grown, am temple divorced and remarried to a nomo. ), Miriam his sister who obeyed her mother and stayed with him and suggested her mother be his nursemaid, and the daughter of Pharoah, who raised him. Thanks. She used several stories from the NT about Christ & his mother Mary to illustrate principles that we can all use to improve our relationships with others. Someone explain this. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Your email address will not be published. I have to say that I was almost offended that there would be an assumption that FD would be a piece of cake. Ere the sun goes down. This blog post is the result of my musing. on Mothers Day and donate it to a womens shelter. Below, youll find an excerpt from each talk and a link to the full text. This is a tradition of man, and sometimes it is just a bad idea. I love that song but our ward music coordinator has musical numbers lined up already. Thank you for being the kind of people you are and doing the things you do. April 24, 2015 in General Discussions. I would expect him to give a talk like that because he is so utterly black and white in his thinking and he never heard a strict utterance over the pulpit that he did not love. Geesh! I think its good to have something to air at! But as for now no praise deserved but the praze to the heavenly Father. Personally, I go to church to learn about Jesus and Christ like attributes. So far, so good. Weve gathered this collection to help you study, write talks, and share powerful LDS quotes about mothers. I gave a MD talk one year and focused on Emma Smith, Naomi the MIL of Ruth and my daughter who was a young mother at the time. This might be a useful reference in terms of stories about Christ and women (not saying to cite it, just to get scripture references and helpful context): http://www.fairmormon.org/perspectives/fair-conferences/2015-fairmormon-conference/christs-emancipation-of-women-in-the-new-testament. End of rant. Sometime in the mid-1990s, I went to the ward library after sacrament meeting to obtain materials for teaching a lesson. I think Ill check myself in to a nice bed and breakfast. Yes. Is this our Sharon Haynie from DN branch? I have suggested the donate-money-to-the-shelter thing for about four years now; it gets a blank stare, followed by a startled, oh! There are wrongs that need redressing There are diabetic men, arent there? The reminder was given to visit those sisters unable to attend on Mother's Day. You can also subscribe without commenting. I have an aversion to bringing my family's celebration intochurch and causing other women pain. Can anyone say overdone? And he completely meant it too. Required fields are marked *. Make it different, and they will see you are trying. Although Mothers Day is not fraught for me the way it is for so many, I will be watching with interest next Sunday to see which way our meeitng falls. Mtg. Mothers Day was pure torture and the only time I ever serious entertain thoughts of staying home. Not wordingthat well. Not an official website of the The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I dont like the sappy talks about the perfect mothers. For those who disagreed with my thoughts (above) about our needing ideals to aim at in our lives, I fell upon a quote from C.S. Or the best of both worldssend all women to RS and have the chocolate there so you get the women to walk through the door instead of to their cars, and so the kids arent begging for it? It was a very honest list, but emphasized that the things she would change had nothing to do with looking good, acting a certain way, or different callings. Talk topics could be: - examples in the scriptures (Eve, Ruth, Naomi, Esther, Sarah, Mary, Sariah, etc), - early Saints (Lucy Mack, Emma, Eliza R Snow, Aurelia Rogers, etc), - influence of (teachers, nurses, aunts, grandmas, etc). Im asking this out of genuine curiosity/responsibility for handing stuff out. He also addressed many different groups of women separately with distinct advice for their situation, including women with small children, older women, and women who never marry. http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/04/daughters-of-god?lang=eng, Ray (#58) Steve Ps post is evidence that a talk from 2007 which has been essentially corrected is still being recycled today. I just spent two hours reading all the comments, viewing the video mentioned in #90, and taking notes. I only wish my daughter could come in for graduation I am sure we would skip church together that morning! Today the sacrament is an ordinance in which Church members partake of bread and water in remembrance of Jesus Christs atoning sacrifice. My Mother will one day reach the godstage with my Father and will have there own planet. Just as he was getting into how pornography helped him through the divorce, the bishop stepped up and escorted him from the podium. We teach that you are basically good or even great (gods in embryo), that you are responsible for your actions and that you can actually make other people do what is right through prayer and works especially your children, that the sins you accumulate both those of commission and omission are entirely your fault, that Christ is not really in the middle of the picture until you really screw up and commit something unforgiveable like adultery and that you need to try harder to keep every one of those commandments or you are going to lose your reward of having a planet & of having eternal sex , and the celestial DFAC will snatch your children from you and destroy your perfect family sprouting from the buried nuts of polygamy where mother valently hoisted the impossible burdens. Heres my updated version: Im so glad when Daddy comes home, I think this can be especially true for women who feel theyre just holding on. I did live in one ward where the mothers always got plants but the fathers always got cookies. More importantly, what impact does this conscious attempt to devalue motherhood within our community have on the future of the family? So, I am assigned to give a talk next week. Excellent suggestions, Mark. It was so honest and hopeful all at once. The meeting isnt about me or you, or a missionary, or mother, its about the Savior and His atonement. Its never the men. Nothanks to my back problems got to fly non-stop from Atlanta to Seattle. I do think it is easy to understand my point and I appreciate it when others understand my position. Let us also posit that, even if the average woman is more nurturing or righteous than the . I would be totally okay if they did nothing for Mothers Day at church. The first consideration is that you, the speaker, need to begin with your audience in mind. Mothers Day for me is when my children and Grandchildren call me. https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2014/04/wanted-hands-and-hearts-to-hasten-the-work?lang=eng. And, invariably, as soon as I would send one on his way, Im not a mother, thank you, another would pop up at my elbow, dutifully, kindly twisting the knife. They cannot eat it, and in fact just having the stuff around is a serious temptation to do so. Mrs. Gui, All the little Guis and their little Guis, the violin, photography, Prokofiev, Mahler, Terry Pratchett, Patrick OBrian, Umberto Eco, sci-fi and fantasy, Brigham Young, playing Bluegrass with real Kentuckians. If you want to deal in rose-colored platitudes, you are probably gunning for the high council, so save it until then. Not until the 1600s did people start associating the holiday with their own actual mothers (Mothering Day in the UK). I am confident that a poll ofactive Mormons would show that Mothers Day sacrament meeting is, hands down, the one meeting of the year most fraught with difficulty for the people who attend. Nourishing their souls instead of feeding their bodies? MD really is a no-win. I figure maybe in the next life I will be someones Heavenly Mother. That wouldn't let her do such and suchall things in the end that weren't good for her daughter to do, one way of looking at it. Personally, I like cookies. Ive been jinxed. Ere the sun goes down, He suffered for the sins, sorrows, and pains of all people, providing remission of sins for those who repent and live the gospel (see 2Nephi 9:2123). According to our teachings, Jesus the Messiah wasnt just sinless, He was God. There is a *big* difference a HUGE difference between being *foreordained* to something and actually **BEING** something, as is made very clear in the temple. President Eyringonce said that when he meets somebody for the first time, he assumes that person is struggling mightily with an intractable problem, and cannot see any possible solution. Your email address will not be published. How can a father raise a happy, well-adjusted daughter in todays increasingly toxic world? Gospel Q&A: My Children Have Left the Church & I Worry for Their Souls. Yea like all of you My Mother sucked too. As a member of our bishopric, I assigned the topics for this weeks talks, all motherhood focused, and I have forwarded your paragraph with Elder Eyrings quote to each of them. At one point they cut down a tree and paraded it into town to symbolize the mother of the Gods (Asherah, anyone?). If they give out a plant that I can put in the ground, Ill be sad to miss that, though. I actually gave two sacrament meeting talks on Mothers Day during our childless/infertile years. Now, I detest it. She was not a perfect mother, but I loved her. If I would obtain the blessing, Celebrating motherhood somehow demeans mothers by making them feel guilty for not having been "good" mothers. Every year someone has to pick up the flowers for my ward. 2 women spoke about motherhood. I found out the hard way after a long list of them declined to give the talk. Part of this ordinance is a promise to remember Him always and a witness of individual willingness to take upon oneself the name of Jesus Christ and to keep His commandments. Next, it is always very specific so as to not offend anyone. Even though Mothers Day is now a reasonably happy day for me personally, I still find that my mind is focused on how other women in my ward might be experiencing it. I chuckled, but was not surprised when I saw that chocolate was the most popular! Thanks for clarifying. Im sort of hoping that the person before me goes too long and I have to wrap up with my testimony. Thats the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me! The "Sacrament Meeting Program" app provides users a quick, easy way to create their sacrament meeting programs. And out the door I flee. Well, count me among the lucky ones who are speaking this coming Sunday. You then leap to classifying it a family celebration rather than a national holiday. In partaking of the sacrament and making these commitments, Church members renew the covenant they made at baptism (see Mosiah 18:810; Doctrine and Covenants 20:37). Tony, thanks! Scriptural women are perhaps safer :-) And in our ward, the men get cans of Dads Root Beer or Sugar Daddy candies. I cant remember the last time I heard a bad sacrament meeting talk, period. I too have wrestled with the infertility monster and MD was always a nightmare. A BIGTHANK YOU to Heather Mecham for compiling all the results from this survey. #46 That is an awesome idea for your talk. Especially for those women that aren't mothersbut, a big but, these women are mothers to villages, pets, and extended family all the time! I would say that my grandmother was like a second mother to us, but really she was like a first mother. We once had a bishop hand out frozen TV dinners! This is what I need for . If my kids are with me on MD I go, but FD is just too painful. If youre already perfect, who needs it? But I realize others prefer plants. So I would personally prefer if they didnt do those honor-mothers meetings. I think this is one of the most confusing topics for men in the church. To be fair, diabetics can eat chocolate. Ohand did you say you had an extra ticket??? It was a one day break from the 40 day Lent cycle to give a feast in honor of Mom with cakes and flowers and her grown children visiting from afar. We got a response from172 females and 51 males. Less than nothing because the message of such a gift is that the person is not important. And that concludes the story of how NewlyHousewife learned not to attend church on Mothers Day. Id really love to see the fathers acknowledged on Fathers Day. That in no way shape or form precludes me from looking to Christ/HF/HM for ideals. Not at church anyway. I agree! Its impossible to please everyone. Christian churchs teach that you are inherently bad, that it is not entirely your fault and that Christ has already saved you and after He gets around to telling you (if He hasnt already) that you forgiven and are His, you will do nonspecific good things he directs because you will naturally want to do them. An ideal is fine to have in your own life, but imo it is dangerous to attempt to have one for a worldwide religious organization. It isn't uncommon for LDS women to be dealing with some combination of the following factors: a difficult marriage, no marriage, no children, difficult children, health problems, loss of faith. I have been avoiding the mother's day sacrament meeting for the last couple of years. EOR, I would venture to say, even with being fairly new to BCC that few here mean to give offense. They always see what they havent done instead of what they have because they are constantly reminded of what they should be doing. No talk is necessary, but a simple acknowledgement of our love for all the women in our lives is nice. Classic! We do need to have some kind of an ideal, even if we may not measure up to it occasionally, or even ever! There have been one or two General Conference talks in the last couple of years that briefly addressed that situation. Questions & Answers: What am I supposed to think about during the sacrament? Well, you dear women, I say thanks to you. Now we have a tradition that during the last ten minutes of priesthood meeting, they gather all the classes from deacons to high priests together in the multi-purpose room and present them with Fat Boy ice cream sandwiches. Integrate how Jesus takes care of his mother's future well being while hanging on the cross with the scripture John 19:26-27. Actually now that I do have children, the primary song Im so glad when Daddy comes home has taken on a new meaning for me. Mark, This post was positively Uchtdorfian! I have attended other Christian churches enough to realize why it is much less likely that they have painful mothers day talks. So I will be going to church on Sunday, even though I never go to church, so I can remember my mother, who was never a Mormon. I also have plenty of friends who are single sisters and they mourn growing older and menopause because they wont be able to have the children they want to hold and love. Home & Family. I remember being confused by a few Mothers Day talks growing up. Not using individual's names, I told stories of selfless service performed by sisters in our ward that I had observed during my time as bishop. Check out our selection of LDS church programs for baptisms, church activities, and sacrament meetings. Forgive me for not understanding the blessing part of it. I Know I would like Mothers Day more if they changed the official hymn of the day from Love at Home to this one (to be sung from the perspective of the mother): 1. After living with me for almost 17 years, hed better get it right! It is good to share personal stories, but be aware that your own family might be abit stranger than you think. So, yeah, how irritated the host is with the comments is pretty much it. This talk by Elaine S. Dalton helps fathers understand the importance of loving and cherishing the women in their life. To all of you giving talks, good luck on navigating the mine fields! He invites mothers to count the debits and credits in your role as a mother. President Hinckley then goes through a number of important gospel teachings mothers should focus on. At my ward the angel mothers were to aspire to. Wow! Honestly, considering how touchy this subject is (women w/out kids, abusive moms, separated/divorced men who don't want to be, moms who've passed, etc), I'd focus on Womanhood. The perfect sacrament meeting talk? In simple terms his philosophy was that the church is not true because it is madeconsists of people who are imperfect and therefore not always true to all of the ideals taught. However, I am concerned about the implications of a people where the female population dislikes the concept of motherhood or at least dislikes it enough that they do not want to celebrate Mother's Day. Loverboy was gone, she was outside of the church, and she had no means of support. The average of the survey said their bishopric probably spends about $1 per sister for Mothers Day gifts. :( Everyone can just disregard parts that may sound harshor disregard the comment altogether I reckon. I must speak the loving word, Latter-day Saint pianist Monica Scott has arranged a touching Mother's Day medley in honor of Stephanie Pope, a mother of five who recently passed away . People seemed to feel good about it but Mark is right about it being a fraught day. The story of Martha and Mary each bringing important and valuable things, even though they were very different. Many said not to assignmother or female focused messages in sacrament meeting, others said to keep your effortssimple as long as it is sincere. Through this ordinance, Church members renew the covenants they made with God when they were baptized. Yeah, it would be pretty late to be thinking about music now. Some women think that you dont talk enough about mothers while other people think you talk too much about them. Thank you. Not all women can become real mothers. As a mother of six kids, Ive had some serious depression about motherhood in general over the years but not usually on Mothers Day. Ive taken as the Ward Music Chair person and conductor to pick hymns and have a couple special musical numbers, but does anyone have any ideas for a small token we could pass out to the men? I was reading about the origins of Mothers Day. It might be that it was a holiday originally conceived by the US Socialist Party and propagated by the Soviets. Examples? As far as Jesus is concerned, he was sinless so is able to stand as an ideal. Nourishing both body and souls.Just my humble opinion. Im not going tomorrow. But her mother held a yardstick, and if her daughter played the wrong key, her mother smacked her across the back ofher hands, thus providing sufficient negative reinforcement to motivate her to do it right the next time through. If you want to hear about angel mothers and perfect people, remain in the chapel. Their talks often included poems about the immeasurable amount of crap mothers had to deal with. I do look forward to handing the kids over to my husband for the day, but Ill take a pass on sacrament meeting. Ive decided to speak on how motherhood allows me to develop Christlike attributes (knowledge, patience, temperance, etcref 1 Peter 1:4-8) through daily struggles and reliance on the atonement and then finish with how wonderful it is that mother is only one of the facets of who we are as we strive to become strong women of God. The woman described her family as she was growing up. The first one we did was a modified version of "Teacher Do You Love Me". Since my husband gets to give Theres got to be a way to show a little appreciation and recognize their importance and significance without it being guilt-inducing. Seriously, it would be nice to have some idea. Thank you to everyone! It has been another hellish week, reminding me of all my faults and short-comings as a mother, all that went wrong for me as a daughter, and it has all brought me a liitle closer to God, who is repeatedly teaching me that one-size-does-not-fit-all, or most or even many. I choose to stay away for most MDs and all FD. It was a nice meeting. Regarding the giveaways: in my ward for the last several years, all of the women have been given chocolates on Mothers Day (very nice ones). Find another way to show appreciation to Mothers! Why are women so disenchanted with motherhood when we value it so highly? Dont take us out of Primary to go eat Treats! Love your mother, my young sisters. On Mothers Day. Actually, Ive never heard anything about Heavenly Mother beyond, Isnt it so wonderful that we believe in a Heavenly Mother?!. more guilt and more controversy.). Replies to my comments The second is about a mother who diligently loved her son as he struggled with same-sex attraction and labored him through his despair. . Talking to other grownups while nice doesnt belong in 3rd hour. #28 Love the song choice of I Have Work Enough To Do as a tribute. It seemed to strike just the right tone. She was a wonderful example for motherhood, womanhood, and peoplehood. Avoid speaking of angel mothers. A nod to moms but no pedestal worshiping. I have seen, heard and experienced much of the imperfections, joys and sorrows in life, and know that reaching out for and holding on to the Iron Rod brings souls closer to the ideals with every step. He gets points for effort and most humorous and memorable! Ideals ALL! Id also like a break from a poem in the EFMormons which says that no painting, no book, no song penned by a mother could be as great as a worSocrates by their children in the future, so spending your time raising the next generation is the greatest thing you can do. This ordinance is an essential part of worship and spiritual development. Respect her. Since I believe he (the Father) and my Heavenly Mother are probably equals, Id say we know a lot about her as well! I like the post. I know some women get upset because they arent mothers, but it doesnt bother me. Sadly, though, it probably caused a lot of pain to the listeners. It was designed with ward choirs and Sacrament Meeting musical numbers in mind. Just a question here, since I am new to this blog. But Ive also read this: 40 Behold, ye are little children and ye cannot bear all things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth. It hits pretty close because Im one of those lucky people who get to speak on Mothers Day this year. There are a number of other conference talks on the subject (righteous traditions, family traditions, etc.). For the third verse, I composed a counterpoint for the choir to sing while the kids sang the melody. However, Uchtdorf also gets women and articulates that better than most. That we be a great subject for Mother's Day. Our head count was 85 sisters which is super for us. I am infertile, though I now have three children through adoption. Latter-day Saints to Attend Sacrament Meeting Only on Christmas Day Church Newsroom November 10, 2022 Church The First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has. What is the trigger to close the thread? Ugh. Flowers were also given to anyone who wanted to wear one in honour of their mothers. Preparation Print the song pages. This is the same reason we do not have missionary farewells any longer. I am on the Speakers Bureau for the Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN) and we would welcome the donations too. I just read that talk again; and I see nothing wrong with it. I also really like Kristenes suggestion and everything like unto it as EOR suggested. I also choose to focus on the women in the scriptures like #30 has mentioned. So how does tax exemption relate to churches, and especially churches that [], You are so much more than the worst thing youve everdone., http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/04/daughters-of-god?lang=eng, http://dandelionmama.wordpress.com/2012/05/08/this-this-is-what-i-believe/, Inside the UK's Mormon missionary bootcamp - BBC, Former mayor, LDS bishop gets prison for child sex abuse - Salt Lake Tribune, The anti-racist Mormon trying to teach his fellow LDS church members - NPR, Mormon Church fined over claim it hid $32bn of investments - BBC, Linda King Newell, Feminist Scholar of Mormon History, Dies at 82 - The New York Times.